I am good at it.

And I will overcome.

Overcome what? The great enemy of distraction, lack of focus, and moodiness.

I perused the requirements for the application of the Grad program Yale. "I can do this" I thought.

Albeit, it will take me some years to save adequate money. But with my in-depth study of painting and it's materials, I should be able to get into a fancy program.

Ever since I embraced I'm a painter and accepted that everything else is superfluous, it has made my life a hell of a lot easier. What once was a hurricane of so many interests, is now a focused nimbus. I also understand I'm a human with flavor who appreciates beauty.

But at least I choose painting to indulge in 9 times out of 10 when I have the opportunity.

Hateful thoughts drain me. Buying things I want instead of need and require leave me empty. Lust exhausts me.

I need more work in focus. But I'm getting there.

I am eager to be an intellectual at this. They call it "Master".

I am producing real paintings. They are beautiful. I am becoming one with my materials.

It feels good to be this person who truly understands I am made of this.

This is my happiness.