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Feeling more and more dead inside. This is a good thing. It's good because it re-directs the focus back on art. Instead of getting caught up in the art world or friends or jobs, I can calmly tell myself, "None of it matters". I give myself permission to make more art than look at art.
I give myself permission to make more art than working for others.
I give myself permission to make more art than see friends.
I give myself permission to make more art than fulfill obligations.
I give myself permission to make more art than think about art.
It is important I make art for museums and galleries, even if it doesn't happen in my life. The point is not when it's shown and where, but the fact it exists and it's beautiful. It's about making it. That's what makes me happy. Not friends, not politics, not sex, not leisure.
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