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Feeling the great visceral detachment from others--whatever that means (it just came out of me). But I think it has something to do with a new concept of loneliness. To me, new in the sense that it isn't defined by something you see in a movie or hear about. Loneliness in a good way. The concept that loneliness is inevitable--that it doesn't come from a place of yearning. It isn't pathetic. It is knowing I have me. And that's enough. Such is the detachment from others. And ironically, I'm more compassionate than ever (I used to be a real dick). Painting a lot as of late--more consistently and brilliantly. It is time to hide the old work. I've arrived at a "style". Enjoying telling people I'm "great" or "wonderful" when I'm really so bored, disappointed, and numbed by the life. Lying to people keeps them away from me. When they know you're weak, or moody, or admittedly unhappy (as I am), they want to connect with you. And it's never the type you want to connect with. I save all my energy for the artists I know and meet. They're usually high as a kite, childish, or drunk, but at least I can actually relate. I just don't relate on a deep level to people who aren't artists. It makes sense somehow. This is my tribe.
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