Because I am parched for a friendship.

But they never work out that well. I usually just end up wanting to do them or have a guy who wants to do me.

It's so unfair!!!

Pretty much every San Francisco gay guy thinks they're better looking than you. It's such a pain in the ass. I'm not sure how to penetrate the film of standoffishnes.

Well, at this point in my life, if I make out with a guy or jerk someone off, it really doesn't matter to me. If it means having someone to talk about guys with, it's fine.

Just loan me a friend goddamnit.