That earns me artist points.

Aren't we supposed to have lovers?

My feelings are definitely fanciful, I doubt they are real. But in the meantime it is nice to have a friend you like so much you fuck.

Very odd arriving at this place. I am a recovering Catholic. My 21 year old world crumbled when I discovered my husband cheating on me.

For ten years he consistently cheated on. Each discovery of his sex addiction chipped away at my happiness.

But what I am doing is far more insidious. I'm not fucking a stranger in a bush. I am dating someone I like and feeling pure about it.

Pure is a funny word to use in this instance, but what I feel is human. Is it emotional infidelity? No, because I still feel equally passionate about my husband.

Am I just a slut? Possibly? But don't sluts try to avoid an emotional experience? Who cares...

The experience of having a different lover is so satisfying. Since not one person can embody all I need, I am finding things in him I have never had and always wanted. But I know I'm a slut because there are still things I want I can't get from either lover.

It's not possible on this planet to really do forever what I'm doing. Maybe if I really disobeyed the rules. But until I give up pretending to belong I will never be able to usher myself into a future where I can feel equal love for multiple lovers.