2014-01-28


In about an hour and a half I will be heading to the paid internship I procured.

I feel damn accomplished. It being a well-respected, much-coveted art-sponsoring media company, I feel doubly accomplished.

I fucking earned it.

I still think about this concept of "being myself". How deceptively simple! How utterly useful. I have to remind myself that my uniqueness is exactly what opens doors. It's exactly what has always opened doors for people who succeed.

I feel like I'm finally succeeding. I feel like I'm finally getting what it means to be a human: You find out what's exclusively yours and you exploit it for the betterment of human kind. Epic, but true.

In my instance, because I was raised to make eye contact, listen, introduce myself with a hand shake, not smell, avoid airs, do what I say, and express gratitude, I have doors open for me. When I tried to be neutral I was playing games. When I tried to not seem ingratiating, I was distracted. When I cared what YOU thought, you thought nothing.

Now that I don't care, you love me.

I really get how lovely I am--like what that really means. I don't have to try to be more lovable. I get that there are no absolutes in lovability. There's a lot less pressure when you think of it that way.

So now I am going to my new internship. I am going to wear yellow pants because I feel like it.



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