2011-09-28


Diary of an artist. For 10 solid hours I have struggled on a simple line drawing. The last bits remain unfinished. it feels like I'm grasping at straws, or really thirsty. So is my life. Full of drama.

Honestly, I don't understand how something I love can hurt. It's like ass-sex.

I think about art when I'm not doing it. With all my materials out to create, I hunt for a snack, I put clothes in the drier, decide to yank weeds from the lawn.

Focus is my problem. And being a responsible artist. I think I'm narrowing down how to use my ability, though obviously not wholly.

I know I am tired of wasting my time on paintings that suck. I am sick of not moving my audience.

I watched that White Snake video where Tawny Kitaen does backflips and splits on the hoods of two jaguars. Funny as it is, it moved me. Her energy, wild sensuality, and grace gave me goosebumps. "That is what energy looks like".

I know it is possible for me to elicit that "wow" in my work. I know I am capable of doing great things.

I am grasping what makes pop. I am understanding what images move me.

Basically, I want to get horny when I look at my work. I want to think, "I can't believe I made that" and "who's the artist? We must fuck".

I can do it. I can do it.

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