And all of this appropriately in front of our best friends.

Who knew life could be so exciting. I feel like Christian Schad's rendering of women with scars: it was an honor to elicit such passion in a lover.

Well, on a sick level, I feel like a new.....it is ineffable.

I do know I feel numb. Shock, I guess. I slapped him in the face with my apparently powerful hand. All those trips to the gym show up.

I haven't cried yet. I have just walked to my bedroom to write on Diaryland.

Have I ever told you how much I love diaryland? I have used Diaryland (originally as 'tweettweet') since something like '97.

When I began writing, I was the person I turned back into recently. That is why I am getting beaten.

I have always been shocking, powerful, smart, brazen, and proud.

I pulled up old photographs. I had my shirt off. I was making lascivious faces, exhibiting my art. Who does that?

I am important. Not because I'm kind of wild. But because I have nerve.

All I can do, since his illness hangs on, is leave him in the dust.