I have adamently attempted to assuage my own complaints. When I complain, it drains people around me. I watch it. Yet people have no problem draining me, or others. Currently I'm cutting people off when they complain. I am making up greater complaints as a defense. It backs them off because they're drained.

I fucking hate people who bring me to this. They are disgusting and deserve to be drained.

I am at my wit's end. I want to know people who are celebrating life. I want to know my peers: creators, lovers of beauty. I don't understand why people gossip so much or find other people that interesting.

I don't mean this as a slight, but I don't find other people interesting unless they're talking to me directly. I don't think about other people. I'm thoughtful, but I don't need to think about other people. I am more than enough for myself. I interest myself.

I need my peers. I need to belong to something healthy. I don't find it here in this location at this time in my life. Where is my family?