Then I thought about Diane, what a hooker she is, and a bad manipulator.

And the bills. Then my art. Then my friend's art opening in Union Square. Then Livermore this Sunday to attend another opening.

So I walked the dogs and let them shit where people walk and walked away while people watched.

Because I'm mortherfucking tired and confused about doing all the things I want to do and NEED to do.

I am sick of imperatives. I NEED to shit, however, and Pee, and EAT and DRINK and SLEEP, and most of all paint.

And I say I need friends and my life in San Francisco. How does one manage? Does one get any sleep?

I really don't know how other people, all people, (and we all ask these questions) lump sex, drugs, and alcohol on top of it.

I need some more management.

I wish I didn't need so much.

I wish I didn't need to discipline everything so much.