I feel like I'm going through another teenage phase. For some reason, I feel horribly awkward and it doesn't add up. I can't walk around town without fidgeting or feeling uncomfortable. Today I just finally had to go home so I could calm down. Does my awkwardness have anything to do with Renata? Does it have anything to do with new physical goals that I've set for myself? For one, I lost my aly who I told my whole life to. I've bottled it up. Secondly, my body is hotter than ever and it's all because I've earned it. Yet I still have my standards. Sometimes I feel like a phony with all the nice things I have never had to earn a penny for. All in all, I'm very awkward and uncomfortable. Perhaps now is the time to pay a therapist to talk to. I used to have Renata but she's gone and Will won't hear a thing of negativity. Sometimes I just need to tell someone everything. I haven't had that in 6 months. I miss my dead friend but there's always the future.
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