|
I have been through a lot of pain these past couple weeks. In fact, I don't expect to ever heal from this. The fact is that I've lost my friend for good, or a part of her. I'm emotional from all of this limbo. I just wish she would choose to live or die so I can settle in my thoughts. Plus, I miss her. I want her to be beautiful and glowing again. I want to enjoy tea with her and talk about nothing. Or, I want to mourn her death and just accept it. A part of me wants to blame Igor, her friend who played such a dark role in her life. But she loved him. No one else would fill that dark role in her life. As my other bi-polar friend noted, she needed him. Much like she needed me to bring the bright side. And I'm not afraid to say that I'm the one who gave her so much light. Will and I brought out her beauty and extended it, despite the hard times. I only blame Igor because Igor's energy was all over her when she got hit by that truck. He was always the bane and it practically killed her. So now, contorted in her hospital bed with one eye barely open her pupil follows me. But there's no one inside. Just a body suffering physically for everything that's built up emotionally.
< > |