Who am I kidding? Not to bag on people who are straight but I've noticed an enormous lack of anything fresh in straight people--like they jumped the band wagon by the crackling straps that fall apart in small chips on the side of the road.

Who THE FUCK ARE YOU KIDDING with your stupid bawdy jokes? Dear, the word "vagina" ceased to have the shock and humor-value that it had in 1993. Anal bead jokes? Honey, I was cracking up at that shit at 17--back in 1999! Get present with the fresh, you old scraggly antique and bedraggled bald shitter!

Last night I paid someone at a comedy club to make me laugh. I discovered, as I always do, how stupidly enormous and behind the times so many straight people are about comedy. Of course, everybody laughed at the mention of Anal Beads. To me, it's a cheap gag for someone who doesn't have any real jokes. Ooh, let me say "fuck" a thousand times and "blow a load" for a thrill. At one point, the guy even said "I can say 'cunt' whenever I want!". C'mon people, did we really just spend forty bucks on this fool.

I'm of the old set. I like humor that is based on good hooks and some insight. Who relies on swear words? Dave Attell--that's who I saw--a real no-talent. I'm going to see Margaret Cho who has a raunchy sense of humor but it's current--that's because she's in tune with the gays.

I'm telling you people--want to make money now? Get involved in the gay community--we ALWAYS know what's fashionable before the whole world catches on. Be a beat ahead--and get real for Christ's sake.