I'm a badass now and I fight and I know how to get what I want.

The cool thing about hardening is now I'm more intimate and sensitive and open to people. Instead of having people in and out of my life on a flippant skipping record, I have people in my life for the rest of my life.

But still it makes me sad, in a way. But not really. Will said I had hardened. So did Renata.

"How have I hardened?" I asked. "Less bullshit, more direct, more flippant about other people's problems" one said.

Not to mention all my diva-attacks on total strangers who judge me for nothing.

"WHAT!?" I shouted in the faces of two snickering bitches at the store the other day. When they jumped at my loud, lunging head they had nothing but shock and alarm in their eyes. "That's what I thought" I said to myself as I walked away satisfied, protected and proud.

So yes, things have changed quite dramatically for me. I'm sweet, but hardly sentimental anymore. I am kind, but protected. I know what I want and I ask for it curtly. I am genuine and straight to the point. In a way it makes me warmer. Hopefully, everyone around me isn't judging.

If they are, then they'll never keep up.