FOR THE LOVE OF GOD SOMEBODY BLUMP ME.

Dear god, why am I so auntie-social? Everybody is embarrassed by me (yet they invite me to everything).

I'm a cool cat. I'm cute. That's why.

FLIRTING WILDLY WITH THE BOY AT SCHOOL I ACHIEVED SOME KIND OF GREEDY SATISFACTION.

"I really like your hair" he said. "Why thank you" I replied. Thinking to myself, "He likes me--YES!"

IT IS IMPORTANT TO ME TO BE WANTED BY EVERYONE.

"Will is so cool" she said, "I know" I said, "but why do I always want to leave him?" "Because" she said, "he treats you well."

PERHAPS!

Inside I'm a group-sex pig. I am the cherry on top. To be kept to one like a precious jewel stuffed away in the corner of a jewelry box IS SIMPLY ANNOYING TO ME.

My self-esteem is squashed. I am an object to anyone out there. I WANT TO BE OBJECTED.

The next step is sorting through stagnance. Why am I miserable? Why do I doubt my relationship? Why do I feel betrayed. Why am I ashamed to be "anti-social", "weird", "vain", and "strange"?

So I'm as weird as everyone else. Perhaps it is in that weirdness I can find some kind of peace. I'd like to know all the answers. Until then...

Tata.