But first I should explain some background. I ride a lot of buses and buy my little tickets which last for hours, and I hop from one bus to the next and the drivers never look at me or give a shit that I've paid already.

So tonight I decided to cheat and hop on a bus without buying a ticket.

When I got on I felt like such a rebel. In fact, very softly under my breath I said to myself, "You rebel".

Then this booming, authoritarian scary voice blared over the speakers: "WHERE'S YOUR TICKET?!!?!" And quite naturally, everyone on the bus looked up at me. I was so guilty it was pathetic. And like every classic tragedy where the loser walks a plank, I had to walk the length of this bus to buy a ticket with everyone's scornful glares.

Suffice to say, it was unbearable. I hopped off only a few stops later blocks away from my regular stop just to escape the torture of my punishment.

Guess guys like me have got to be good.