It just revalidates the fears I have of sex.

It sexually-frustrates me. It is a turn-off.

I have a filthy mind and yet feel unable to manifest my dreams. In the back of my mind is this nagging fear that will never let-up.

Tonight he wanted to have sex with me and I pushed him off. The last thing I want to do is have unprotected sex.

And it's sad because I used to trust this person. But I'm afraid he's made some decisions for me in the bedroom. I can't even enjoy sex with my boyfriend.

At what cost--if any--do I get to enjoy unbridled sexuality? Must one BE DYING to enjoy it?

I hope not.