But leaving him is really impossible.

On my hands is a Frida-Kahlo-Situation. Constantly behind my back is a life of iniquitous cheating and lying. But should I do what she did and accept my life as unfair?

What can I do? I can leave him and find solace in a man who is faithful but affectionately stale. Or, I can accept Will for his infidelity and love him just the same.

But why should I accept his bad behavior? Do I deserve better? Is this the best it's going to get? Much of my heart says 'yes'--that I have it made--but teeter-tottering forever is this question of leaving.

I suppose it is only so vital now to ask since we are about to buy a home. What do I do?

I feel like I'm walked all over. Like I'm whipped.

So am I being challenged to find a balance? Am I being asked to question the values I've internalized?

I cannot escape my background. My parents stayed together forever. This was my example.

I've tried to be unfaithful but I just cannot do it. I can't even look at a guy for a second.

I feel trapped to some degree. I could blame my culture, my background, and my boyfriend.

But it's really no one's fault. I just have to keep faith that nature works out in my favor.