I have been the ideal boyfriend. I am the most loyal, christian, betty grable wife imaginable.

He has cheated, he has dined with desirable men, and he's flirted and wiggled and god knows what.

Last night he shed a tear when I announced my plan to mimick everything he has done. I said, "it makes things fair."

It is only fair that I experience what he is so wildly attached to: A life of iniquity. Maybe then I'll "understand" him better.

Don't be so stupid that you never expected this to happen.

When you behave badly, so do I.

It is only fair.