I'm grateful for the drive-by shootings, the stupid gremlins, the broken beer bottles. I'm grateful I've been called a faggot. I'm grateful I've found a voice in myself that is violent and hateful.

I'm grateful I'm just as ugly as everyone else.

Of course now I'm terrified--but such a realer person.

Last night I was snooping on some old friends from the old days. Living their polished lives, they still have time to bask in their unknown bands and thrift-store shirts. They still think their voices matter and that they're individuals.

This kind of city crushes any sense of remarkableness you may feel for yourself.

In that there is liberation from the billowing ego that suffocates you.

You can finally just do what you do because that's what you do and there's nothing behind it.

You can finally feel normal--no better, no worse.

You can be just like everyone else.