And I do. I get it.

I'm much more confident. Much more real.

New York taught me much security.

People are no bullshit there. Judgement is less prevalent. People are less fickle. People have more confidence.

I like it but I don't like it.

Such conservatism comes at a price: People have no style there. People aren't individuals.

At least in San Francisco you can look however you want. But at least in Manhattan you don't have to prove who you are with your looks.

The fact of the matter is that everyone works together. Here in San Francisco it's much more competitive. I like both places for both reasons.

But where does it meet in the middle? Where can I find a balance?

Both cities play an important role in my future:

San Francisco will foster my identity. New York will foster my reality.

I know that I will end up there in the future. But I also know that my heart's in California.

Now it's time to make some serious decisions.

On Tuesday I leave for L.A. I have to see it before I decide.

Deciding what? Where I'll live. What I'll be. For how long. What I want.

I'm moving quickly. Hang on tight.