2003-11-06


Passing a man and a woman in a shiny black Mercedes. She is crying.

"Goes to show you money can't buy happiness" Will says.

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I'm practicing detachment, flippancy. Especially in realms of love and affection. I enjoy not pining. I enjoy being in control. Leaders aren't bogged down by emotions/lovers.

"Rulers make bad lovers" as sung by Stevie Nicks. That's right, I'm willing to sacrifice any vestige of sweetness for power. I have no time for sentimentality. It is my one weakness.

Yesterday was akin to eighty barrels of shit on my face. And what a waste of time that was.

I'm just very fed up with the disfunction of relationships. I don't have days to squander on sadness.

I have to be distant, untouchable, strong. I won't be a pussy who sponges emotions.

I will be stoic. I will be flippant.

I will be happy and beautiful always.

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