2003-08-26


Skin-tight shirts. A couple of fags traipsing down the street. Will flags them down. One of them is an asshole he fucked in the day. Big deal.

The boys approach the window like a couple of hookers. The boywillfucked squats down and smiles coquettishly at us. His eyebrows are plucked to perfection. He looks like a woman.

Boytoywhothisassholeisfucking stands silent with a smile on his face. Oh, that world, I recall with a shudder.

Flirtation. Skin-tight clothes. Non-chalance and unctuous flair. Walking gaping buttholes.

Yucky. My aversion. How happy I am to be out of that world. Shirtless cute boys who may want to fuck me...I'm out of that world. Trial relationships. Manoftheweek. Boyfriendofthehour. I'm out.

And yes it was fun. There were golden moments. But a lot of frustration. A lot of distaste.

I'll see pictures of the single life. Recently one of various fags on a Kathy Lee Gifford cruise in the Bahamas. Everyone shirtless and cruising...everyone salivating...fucking each other.

When I first met Will so-called faggot friends of mine had a talk with me. It was more like beration. They said, "You're not ready for this. You know nothing. You're 21 and young. You should be single and dating and dancing and living. You should be partying and experimenting."

"And getting AIDS" I should have added, "And continuing this life of directionlessness."

I was not happy at that point any longer with the flippant-sexual-youthful-party-drinking-tightclothes-lifestyle I was living.

It had glitz and glamour 7 months ago. I tasted that life. Been there done that. I was ready for a change.

And I got it. I found a way out of that world that now is so putrid to me. I found happiness.

I will appreciate that world for what it is, for what it taught me. But I'm perfectly content with where I'm at.

I don't miss it for a second.

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