1. Two grown men were spotted mummified in FOIL--my neighbors standing stolidly together.

2. The other night a bulldyke beckoned me into the bathroom. Once inside, she locked the door and started kissing my face. I was confused and drunk and started laughing. She kept trying to kiss my lips but I dodged her.

Finally I said, "I'm sorry, but I have a boyfriend." She smiled back and with a manly voice responded, "I do too. He's right outside. Tell him to come on in." Suddenly it occured to me that she was a HE.

So I opened the door to come face to face with a SMILE. The boyfriend seemed excited to see me but quickly ran for his man. I simply stood there amazed as they shut the door behind them.