He smiled at me and said, "Wow...you look better than your picture". I wanted to die.

I was frozen with fear at my current predicament. He looked NOTHING like his picture. I wasn't attracted at all.

He lifted my shirt and said, "niiiice body...". I was hating my life.

"So you want to jump in the shower?" he asked (he hadn't even showered yet!).

"I'm nervous" I confessed.

And after bullshitting awhile in the bathroom he decided to jump in without me. He stripped off his clothes and I began to feel trapped.

"Make yourself at home" he said. "I'll be out in a minute."

And I exited the bathroom in a panic. A thousand thoughts were racing through my head as I scrambed down the stairs:

Do I respect myself? Do I love myself? What matters more? His feelings or mine? Horrible sex or salvaged integrity?

I rushed to the front door and grappled the handle. I could hear the shower running.

"I can't do this" I said to myself.

And I opened the door, slammed it behind me, raced to my car, and sped off in a flurry.