I've had to be ruthless in order to be beautiful. And I mean that internally, not physically. I've had to cut people cold with flippancy and heartlessness. And it feels good. That's what I've had to re-apply to my life. It involves my mother and her utter lack of acceptance of me (for being gay), my irrational psychopathical sister, and various "friends" as of late. I don't have patience for weakness anymore--for people who don't love themselves. The Seattle trip was a reminder of this. The man I went with was such a squalid example of self-contempt I wanted him to kill himself. And last night the fight I had with my mother was such a reflection of her ugly world I have no patience for her. I will cut her off like I've done to others. To protect myself. To survive. To succeed. My life is beautiful. I am in love and happy. And I won't let anyone taint that.
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